T.V. Jokes

What do you do when you see a floating T.V. in the middle of the night?

Tell Jamal to drop it

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What is the black kid getting for Christmas?

Your T.V.

What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v. show?

I wish I could hear you whinnie.

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

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Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does a robot do at the end of one night stand?

He falls off

What did the egg say to the boiler water?

It might take me awhile to get hard, I just got laid last night.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why did you steal that bird?

Prisoner: For a lark sir.

Where does He-Man keep his towel?

BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!! I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it.

Brother Jokes More Brother Jokes

Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?

They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.

What did the Russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby?

A pizza doesn't scream when you break it in 8.

What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?

Hard cheese.

Float Jokes More Float Jokes

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

What do you call 5 guys who have no arms or legs and a woman floating in the water together?

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Ann

Remote Jokes More Remote Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How does a French woman hold her liquor?

By the ears.

How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift?

32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register.

Vcr Jokes More Vcr Jokes

What's a VCR?

My 10yo instantly making me feel like the oldest person who has ever lived. I need calcium chews for my brittle bones.