What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a crackhead and a John?

A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do baby pythons play with?

Rattle-snakes.

Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne?

Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes.

Tv Remote Jokes More Tv Remote Jokes

What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes?

Tripoli batteries.

Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

Newborn Jokes More Newborn Jokes

How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn?

They kick a Can

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

Why is football the single best sport?

Because Americans don't play it.

When fish play football who is the captain?

The team's kipper!

Remote Jokes More Remote Jokes

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."