What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

What's the difference between America and a pot of yogurt?

If you leave a pot of yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How many birds can play tic-tac-toe?

Toucan

What happens if you play a country song backward?

You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.

Tv Remote Jokes More Tv Remote Jokes

What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes?

Tripoli batteries.

Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

Newborn Jokes More Newborn Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building?

About 16 seconds

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

How do you know you are at r/jokes?

The guys all look like they played football for Bronx HighSchool of Science

Why do artists never win when they play football?

They keep drawing!

Remote Jokes More Remote Jokes

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."