Newborn Jokes

What shatters faster than your smartphone screen?

A newborn with osteoporosis.

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What do you call a newborn with 3 arms?

Not mine

How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the Empire State building?

About 16 seconds

How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn?

They kick a Can

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Fisherman Jokes More Fisherman Jokes

Why are fishermen so good at geometry?

Cause they're good anglers.

Why did the Little Mermaid run away with the fisherman?

He had allure.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

How does North Korea only have four medals so far?

We're the best at everything. We even fed our athletes this time.

What did the farmer say after he fed his cows pot?

The Steaks are high.

Carlos Jokes More Carlos Jokes

How do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

Carlos.

What do you call a Mexican who's car got stolen?

Carlos.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why didn't the panda use a glove when playing baseball?

Because he caught everything bear handed!

What's your favorite clock time?

Personally, I'd say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.

Theirs Jokes More Theirs Jokes

Why do women have cleaner minds than men?

Because they change theirs more often

What product of theirs is most commonly exported?

Newborn girls.

3 Arm Jokes More 3 Arm Jokes

What do you call a newborn with 3 arms?

Not mine

What has 3 arms, 1 hat, 2 shirts, 1 jacket, 1 scarf, 1 gun, and 4 ears?

The Tchernobyl cowboy.

Heroin Jokes More Heroin Jokes

What do you call a drug addict that's allergic to heroin?

Cracktose Intolerant

What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.

Hose Jokes More Hose Jokes

What did the Mexican fire chief call his two sons?

Jose and josB (Hose A &amp Hose B)

What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Jose and Hose "B."