Newborn Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What shatters faster than your smartphone screen?

A newborn with osteoporosis.

What do you call a newborn with 3 arms?

Not mine

How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building?

About 16 seconds

How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn?

They kick a Can

You might also enjoy:

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What's a Russian's favorite food?

Vladimir Poutine

Why should you never buy Russian jeans?

Chernobyl fallout

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Why did they start using liquid soaps in prisons?

If you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up.

Where can you go to pick up black birds?

The crow bar

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What is the difference between an art student and a dead baby?

The dead baby can feed a family of four.

What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?

Ape Suzettes!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's easier to load into a garbage truck? Bowling balls or babies?

Babies, because you can use a pitchfork.

Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Utah?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Hose Jokes More Hose Jokes

What did the Mexican fire chief call his two sons?

Jose and josB (Hose A &amp Hose B)

Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

Remote Jokes More Remote Jokes

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

Theirs Jokes More Theirs Jokes

What product of theirs is most commonly exported?

Newborn girls.

How do you know if an introvert likes you when you're talking to them?

They'll stare at your shoes instead of theirs.

Baby Food Jokes More Baby Food Jokes

Why did the mother feed her newborn lamb?

Because it's baby food.

What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.