Fisherman Jokes

Why did the fisherman head out during a storm?

For the halibut

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What did the fisherman say to the sewage management person?

Would you pull that crap with a net?

Why are fishermen so good at geometry?

Cause they're good anglers.

Why did the fisherman decide to go fishing?

For the halibut.

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the fisherwoman?

Your place or mine

What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish?

His catch-phrase. Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!

Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska?

Just for the halibut.

Why did the Little Mermaid run away with the fisherman?

He had allure.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

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How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?

One but you should have seen the bulb it must have been THIS big.

What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?

Row v. Wade

Why did the fishermen buy a new pole?

Just for the halibut.

What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?

A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.

Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?

For the Halibut

When does a fisherman offend you the most?

When he's completely out of line

Why did the fisherman keep taking off?

Because he was fly fishing.

What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What do fishermen do at a their conferences?

Network.

What did the fisherman do on his date?

Netfish and krill

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What do you call a fishermans newborn?

Fresh bait

What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?

One baits his hook the other hates his book.

Why didn't the fisherman go to Florida to fish for long jawed fish with rows of razor like teeth?

He didn't have a Gar

What did the caught fish say to the fisherman in the net?

Well man it's been reel.

What do fishermen say on Halloween?

Trick-or-trout!

What kind of money do fishermen make?

Net profits!

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Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap?

A farte

What's so meta that you almost crap your pants?

Metamucil

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What stresses fish out the most?

Current events.

What'd the fish say when he ran into a wall?

Dam!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog. It croaks every night.

Halibut Jokes More Halibut Jokes

Why did the fish monger cross the road?

Just for the halibut.

Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?

For the Halibut

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why shouldn't you invite a duck to go out drinking?

Because it would be a party fowl.

What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?

Women!

Krill Jokes More Krill Jokes

What is a whales favorite pasttime?

Netflix and krill.

What do whales do on dates?

Netflix and Krill

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

What kind of house does cheese like to live in?

A cottage

Hollywood Jokes More Hollywood Jokes

Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood?

Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblrinlinentae7hsEL21tw80r81280.jpg

Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.