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Remote Jokes

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why does Piglet stink so bad?

Cause he always plays with Pooh.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Island Jokes More Island Jokes

What do you call large number of cannibals stranded on an island?

A

Where do tv's go on vacation?

To remote Islands

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Where can a hand refuel its car?

At a fist pump.

Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake?

Someone else's!

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to receive down votes on reddit?

Wohahaha! That was funny!

What's the best way to get a hold of Vin Diesel?

IM Groot.

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why's it so hard to find marathon and triathlon reviews in Germany?

Well, you know what happened last time they picked a race...

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

What's the first sign of football in the Bible?

Jesus going up for the cross!

What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?

My daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee?

Tony.

Why do cows have hoofs?

Because they lack toes