What did the football say to the football player?

I get a kick out of you.

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What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?

Give me one more chants!

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Why did the architect have his house made backwards?

So he could watch the football

When fish play football who is the captain?

The team's kipper!

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Why are football players never asked for dinner?

Because they're always dribbling!

Why did the football player go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.