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Capitalist Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?

Bernie Sanders

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Conspiracy Theorist Jokes More Conspiracy Theorist Jokes

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

What's the difference between a skeptic and a conspiracy theorist?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

Why is Bernie Sanders seems like having a long nose?

Because AIR IS FREE

Email Jokes More Email Jokes

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

What folder do emails from histrionic venture capitalists go in?

Deleted

Ussr Jokes More Ussr Jokes

Why didn't the USSR get anything done?

They were Stalin

Why did the USSR have so many lower case letters?

Because they aren't capitalist

Communist Jokes More Communist Jokes

What do you call a frozen Communist?

A hammer and pop-sickle

Why did Russia lose the race?

Because it was Stalin! (Sorry. Communist jokes aren't funny unless every gets them.)

Control Jokes More Control Jokes

When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

WIFE: I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE: I use your toothbrush.

What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles?

The sphinxster....

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many downies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Potatoe

How many people with OCD does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. It *has* to be seven.

Low Case Letter Jokes More Low Case Letter Jokes

How do you know your S&amp?

M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.

Why did the USSR have so many lower case letters?

Because they aren't capitalist