Earn Jokes

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

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Why did the scarecrow earn an achievement award?

He was outstanding in his field

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

Why did the scarecrow earn a promotion?

Because it was outstanding in its field

What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer?

By selling your camera.

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

Why is it easy to talk to people who earn little pay?

Because they make cents!

How does a fencer earn their karma?

Ripostes.

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What happens when a fly drinks rum?

It gets buzzed!

What is Madonna's least favourite band?

Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why don't lamps talk?

They're antisocial lights.

Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants?

They can stick to the subject!

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

Why is Bernie Sanders' campaign like Jon Snow?

Game of Thrones spoilers) They're both "dead."

What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

Why don't cows drink milk?

Because they lactose I don't know why I found this so funny! ready for the down vote to begin 3

What are four ways of spreading information that begins with "tel"?

Telephone, telegram, television, and tell a woman.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Why did the police officer arrest the pop machine?

It was selling coke.

Camera Jokes More Camera Jokes

What do you call the camera used for colonoscopys?

A GoProbe.

What does a camera have in common with a condom?

They both capture that special moment.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

The Apey-cees!

What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The asphalt.

Mature Jokes More Mature Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

What's the difference between a millennial and a mutual fund?

A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money