How do you know if someone's an engineer without asking them?

Don't worry they'll tell you

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What time is it?

I don't know... it keeps changing.

Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's a procrastinator's favorite punchline?

I'll tell you tomorrow

What do you do when you see a floating T.V. in the middle of the night?

Tell Jamal to drop it

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life?

Well it pizza heck out of me.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was.

How many engineers do you need to change a lightbulb?

You can take as many as you want but they will only give you the screwing direction.

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

What do you call a Jedi who worries about not making deadlines?

Panickin' Skywalker.

Why are all the fish high?

Because of the seaweed. I've already shown myself out, don't worry.