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How did Pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

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Why's it so hard to find marathon and triathlon reviews in Germany?

Well, you know what happened last time they picked a race...

What did the sphinx say?

What did the sphinx say when he found out the pharaoh caught him up in a pyramid scheme Egypt me!

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

Why did the woman turn to her husband and say "now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?

She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.

What did storm say when she saw wolverine chopping wood?

That's a huge axe man!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus?

Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.

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Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?

Catch.

What did the chicken say after it's wings caught on fire?

Damn, I sure got some hot wings!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

What do a Boston Marathon runner and Jesus have in common?

Nails in their hands and feet

Pinocchio Jokes More Pinocchio Jokes

Why was Pinocchio acting drunk?

He couldn't handle his lacquer

What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common?

Both want to be real boys