Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed?

Son: I couldn't find a spider.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish. I got this from bash.org a long time ago, but I can't find the original post, so have this

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What happens to a frog that parks illegally?

He gets toad.

What happened to the frog who parked illegally?

He got toad

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What do they call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids

Why are spiders like tops?

They are always spinning!