What do you end up with when your pig smokes pot?

Baked ham.

This joke may have profanity.
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What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

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How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.

What's high in the middle and round on both ends?

Ohio.

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Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away?

Because he mist it.

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What was the pig when he got laryngitis...?

He was dis-gruntled!

What do you get when you cross a pig and a Christmas tree?

A porcupine

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What do you call a stoned pig?

Baked Ham