Stone Jokes

Why were the Ten Commandments so powerful?

Because they were set in stone.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What happens when a rock gets high?

He gets stoned.. Badum tsss

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones If everyone was single: Game of Alones If it was about balls: Game of Throwns If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones If everyone used UAVs to fight: Game of Drones If everyone was a banker: Game of Loans If it was about breakfast foods: Game of Scones

What's the best music to listen to while stoned?

Rock.

Why has Stonehenge been there since 2000 BC?

Because it's stoned.

What do women and stones have in common?

You skip the flat ones.

What did the stone say to the hill?

Let's Rock and Roll.

What does The Rock said to his Girl Friend?

Im Stoned

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard?

The Stones say "hey you get off of my cloud!" The Shepard says "hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"

What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked?

A witch.

What did the Queen fans say at the stoning?

We will We will Rock you!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why do people call their weed the Koran?

Because if your burn it, it gets you stoned

What do you call a stoned pig?

Baked Ham

What do you call a country of grizzlies that is always stoned?

A hibearnation.

What did Medusa call the sheep she turned to stone?

Baaaaasalt

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

How would you tell if the Queen was stoned?

Her Highness will tell you

Why do marble statues look so mean?

They have hearts of stone.

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver runs the stop sign. The stoned driver waits for it to turn green.

What happens when you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

What do you call a man of high authority, stoned out of his mind strolling along in the forest?

Hiking

What does weed and the Quran have in common?

If you burn it you get stoned

What word allows you to take away two letters and get one?

Stone.

Why should you not throw stones at a knight?

Because heavy metal is harder than rock.

How much does a rock weigh?

One stone.

What would happen if The Styx and The Stones got a band together?

It wood rock.

What did one mountain say to the other mountain?

Nothing. They were both stoned.

What did the stoned alpaca say to the other stoned alpaca?

Alpaca 'nother bong

How is medusa like weed?

She makes people stoned.

You might also enjoy:

Geologist Jokes More Geologist Jokes

Where do geologists go for entertainment?

Rock concerts.*

What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant?

May I have Eurasian plate?

Moss Jokes More Moss Jokes

Why didn't Mick Jagger pick Randy Moss up from the airport?

Because a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

What did the naturalist say when he saw a number of rocks covered in moss?

I'm lichen what I see

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

Whats your first wish?

Dave: I wish I was rich. Genie: Granted, what's your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

Burger Jokes More Burger Jokes

What do you call a guy that steals burgers?

A hamburglar!

What do you call a burger made from 50% beef and 50% veal?

Half Calf

Hey Ma Cleod Jokes More Hey Ma Cleod Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend?

IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE

Why is ur wife shouting at you?

Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen

Belgian Jokes More Belgian Jokes

What's the difference between Belgian waffles and American waffles?

Belgium waffles crumble in the hands of German.

Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car?

To cut the corners!