Stone Jokes

Why were the Ten Commandments so powerful?

Because they were set in stone.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What happens when a rock gets high?

He gets stoned.. Badum tsss

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones If everyone was single: Game of Alones If it was about balls: Game of Throwns If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones If everyone used UAVs to fight: Game of Drones If everyone was a banker: Game of Loans If it was about breakfast foods: Game of Scones

What's the best music to listen to while stoned?

Rock.

Why has Stonehenge been there since 2000 BC?

Because it's stoned.

What do women and stones have in common?

You skip the flat ones.

What did the stone say to the hill?

Let's Rock and Roll.

What does The Rock said to his Girl Friend?

Im Stoned

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard?

The Stones say "hey you get off of my cloud!" The Shepard says "hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"

What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked?

A witch.

What did the Queen fans say at the stoning?

We will We will Rock you!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why do people call their weed the Koran?

Because if your burn it, it gets you stoned

What do you call a stoned pig?

Baked Ham

What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?

A hybrid

What do you call a country of grizzlies that is always stoned?

A hibearnation.

What did Medusa call the sheep she turned to stone?

Baaaaasalt

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

How would you tell if the Queen was stoned?

Her Highness will tell you

Why do marble statues look so mean?

They have hearts of stone.

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver runs the stop sign. The stoned driver waits for it to turn green.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What happens when you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

What do you call it when a bunch of stoned poets overthrow the government?

A Haiku.

How easy is it to get stoned in Amsterdam?

It's a piece of cake.

What do you call a man of high authority, stoned out of his mind strolling along in the forest?

Hiking

What does weed and the Quran have in common?

If you burn it you get stoned

What word allows you to take away two letters and get one?

Stone.

Why should you not throw stones at a knight?

Because heavy metal is harder than rock.

How much does a rock weigh?

One stone.

What would happen if The Styx and The Stones got a band together?

It wood rock.

What did one mountain say to the other mountain?

Nothing. They were both stoned.

What did the stoned alpaca say to the other stoned alpaca?

Alpaca 'nother bong

How is medusa like weed?

She makes people stoned.

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Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What was Hamlet screaming when running around a circle?

2(pi)r or not 2(pi)r....(snicker)

Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle?

They like horsin' around.

Rolling Stone Jokes More Rolling Stone Jokes

What's a racists favorite song by The Rolling Stones?

Paint it, black!

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."

Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" A Scottsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

Stone Driver Jokes More Stone Driver Jokes

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver runs the stop sign. The stoned driver waits for it to turn green.

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did the priest have to say?

He said you have to stop rapping over the choir.

What did the police officer say to stop the depressed man from jumping off the bridge?

You have potential. Sorry if this is a repost, just thought of it now.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player?

The baseball player has all of its limbs.

What's the difference between cab drivers and F1 drivers?

F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver

Mc Leod Jokes More Mc Leod Jokes

Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot?

One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert?

They found traces of Mercury in him.

Who's the coolest guy at the hospital?

The ultra sound guy.