Why do marble statues look so mean?

They have hearts of stone.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do I look for in a girl?

Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.

Why did the walrus goto the tupperware party?

He was looking for a tight seal.

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Why don't vampires like steak?

Because it's bad for their heart.

Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked?

A witch.

What would happen if The Styx and The Stones got a band together?

It wood rock.