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Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick?

A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning..

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

How do you know if you've fallen in love with an apple from France?

Your heart goes "pomme pomme... pomme pomme..."

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why are you home from school so early?

Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh really What was the question Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal "

Why was the little ink blot so unhappy?

Because his mother was in the pen, and they didn't know how long the sentence would be.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend?

Because Sharon is Karen.

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here