Geologist Jokes

Why did the geologist get divorced?

He took his wife for granite.

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Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?

Because they can get their whole grains.

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant?

May I have Eurasian plate?

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don't take me for granite!

What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

I appreciate the sediment.

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

What do you call a geologist who can't hear?

Stone deaf...

How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes?

He fell into it.

Where do geologists go for entertainment?

Rock concerts.*

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Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

Because they practice relative dating!

Why was the geologist arrested?

He was doing crystal math.

What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

What did the geologist say to the Ginger after he evaluated her precious metal?

Red, it gold.

What's the funniest thing the rock said to the geologist?

Nothing. Because rocks don't talk and geology's not funny.

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Because they all refused to make sandwiches.

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Because it doesn't take four years to learn how to make a sandwich.

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What do you call an Australian who's prejudiced against grains?

A riceist. (It sounds better when you say it aloud)

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Because they take everything with a grain of salt.

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Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?

The retail store

Which way will it fall?

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What did the french fry say to the police officer?

Help me! I've been a-salted!

What is the French verb that means "To declare war"?

Surrendre*

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What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns?

One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.