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What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?

I don't know but you'd better hope he likes it!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know someone went to Harvard?

They tell you.

How do you know you are in the gardening section of Home Depot?

Everything is priced in pesos.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

What kind of bear likes the rain?

A drizzley bear.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

How does a SQL expert get a date?

GetDate() (I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)

What is the difference between a blonde in a church and a blonde in the bath tub?

One has hope in her soul...

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

Why are there so many dogs at the pound?

Because no one wants them.

What's the quickest way to lose pounds?

The UK National Lottery!

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

What did the janitor get for his birthday?

A urinal cake.

What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

Crimea a river