Shag Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

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What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

How does Austin Powers decide which guys he will sleep with?

By giving them an oral test first. "If you can gag me, you can shag me!"

This joke may have profanity.

How many shags have you had?

He started counting then fell asleep.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What word starts with "n" and you never want to call a black person?

Neighbor

What starts with an 'M', ends with 'arriage', and recently made me the happiest man alive?

Miscarriage

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What was the last thing Robin Williams said to his wife?

You go on to bed, I'm just going to hang here a while.

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious.

What do you call a fallen tree in a forest?

Natural log. Sorry about the math joke.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What is your sin, child?

My husband and I are arguing That's very common....about my boyfriend.

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?

Shoot him again.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How many black guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

You cant count them when its dark

Why can't French people count to 5?

Because there's a in the way.

Geologist Jokes More Geologist Jokes

Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

Because they practice relative dating!

What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

Bedrock Jokes More Bedrock Jokes

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns?

One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.