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When to leave your girlfriend?

When your wife's clothes start to fit her.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How does a women make you a millionaire?

You start as a billionaire

What do you call a computer that says hello to you when you start it up?

A Dell.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the difference between Hillary's e-mails and the UK leaving the EU?

Hillary got off Scott-free.

What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?

A Moles Royce.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?

Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots

Why did the oak tree get his girlfriend pregnant?

Because the state abolished plant parenthood

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How do you fit five elephants into a car?

Two in the front two in the back and the other in the glove compartment!

How many people does it take to screw in a light?

Two, but I don't know how they'll fit inside the bulb

Wife Clothe Jokes More Wife Clothe Jokes

When to leave your girlfriend?

When your wife's clothes start to fit her.

How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.