What did the peanut say to his wife before he left?

I'll be back in a jiffy

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the sheriff arrest the tree?

Because its leaves rustled.

What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

Why did the peanut go to jail?

He was a-roasted peanut.

What do you get when you cross peanuts and almonds?

Deez Nutz