What did the peanut say to his wife before he left?

I'll be back in a jiffy

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do they call boats "she"?

Because the wives had to get on board somehow.

How many wife's does a catholic priest allowed to have?

Nun

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

Where do astronauts leave their spacecraft?

At parking meteors.

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

Why was the peanut rushed to the hospital?

He was "a salted."

Why did the circus animals go on strike?

The elephants found out that they were being paid peanuts compared to the rest of the troupe and the ringleader was taking the lions share.