Failure Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

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What do you call a clean, good looking well behaved monster?

A failure!

What do you call a dead asian?

A failure

What do you call an unborn child that is excessively ready to accept failure?

A defetus

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?

By the egg on its face.

What should you call a polite friendly kind good looking monster?

A failure.

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's more fun then swinging a baby on a clothes line?

Stopping it with a shovel.

How do you stop a dog smelling?

Put a peg on it's nose!

Band Jokes More Band Jokes

What did the band Weezer say about the nudist beach?

All the mammaries made me want to go back there!

What band performed at the Jefferson memorial?

Nickelback

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What is the saddest thing in you're life?

That you clicked on this link only to correct my grammer....

Why do we all marry?

Because romance is not the only element of life, we should also know horror, terror, suspense, irony, stupidity and tragedy of life!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Where do cows go when they die?

Burgertory

Why did the water level in the pond rise?

Because the other fish were crying. Edit: *One of them dies.

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy?

Julius Seizure.

What do you call El Chapo suffering from seizures?

Narcolepsy

Produce Jokes More Produce Jokes

Who do women produce milk for?

The baby and the dad.

Which is more environment-friendly: Facebook or r/jokes?

Facebook produces too much plastics while r/jokes has 100% recycling rate.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did the hovering guitarist always look worried?

He was always fretting over something or other...

Why do scientists look for things twice?

Because they research everything.