Salt Jokes

When is a product with 70% less salt a bad thing?

When you're buying salt.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What does Gandhi not like on the Internet?

Salt

Why does salt melt snow?

Because when your salty you melt down in tears.

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast?

Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun.

Why are League of Legends players the most skeptical people on Earth?

Because they take everything with a grain of salt.

Why was the electrolytic solution taken to court?

It was charged with a salt.

What did the stoner drop when he listened to dubstep?

Salt.

What did the salt say to the pepper?

Season's greetings!

What's the difference between LinkedIn and McDonald's?

McDonald's knows how to use salt

Whats white and salty?

Salt.

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What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?

Cheech Marinade!

What did the Cryptologist have for breakfast?

Hash with alot of Salt

What do you call someone who likes to rap about salt?

NaCl-more.

What do you call an old soldier who has been sprinkled in salt and pepper?

A seasoned veteran.

What did NaCl go to prison for?

A-salt

What did the French fry say to the police officer?

Help me! I've been a-salted!

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

How did the cynic die?

He died of liver failure. He took everything with a pinch of salt.

What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)?

One you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt

What did the scientist who got attacked by sodium chloride say?

That's a salt!

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What do you call Michael J. Fox and Muhammad Ali?

Salt and Pepper shakers

Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?

The SALT talks!

What do you call man with.. What do you call man with a rucksack on his back and salt and pepper on his head?

A seasoned traveller.

What did the woman say while she was having a baby?

This could use some salt.

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Why did the storm trooper decide to buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the right droid he was looking for.

Why shouldn't you buy shoes off the street?

They might be laced with something..

Gandhi Jokes More Gandhi Jokes

What'd Gandhi say when his friend told him to leave the protest?

Na 'ma ste

What do Jesus, Gandhi and Mel Gibson all have in common?

They all had a brave-heart.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?

Damn!

What did Jesus' disciples say when he caught all those fishes?

HOLY MACKAREL!

Scientist Jokes More Scientist Jokes

What do you do to a scientist after he dies?

You Barium.

Why did a scientist disconnect his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!! Sorry, I ll walk out

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?

It became a daddy short legs!

Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

Skin Baby Jokes More Skin Baby Jokes

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What do you call someone who smokes two doobies at once?

Double jointed. What do you call someone who can smoke three at once? Dead. Don't do drugs.

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

Pepper Jokes More Pepper Jokes

What the pepper say to the angry chilli?

If you don't cool down, I'm going to get jalapeno business

Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree?

The University of Minnesoda