Ed Jokes

Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend?

Because Sheeran

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What is the difference between ID and ED?

One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.

Who invented schools and teaching?

Ed. U. Cation!

Why was Ed single?

Because Sheeran away.

What does your Dad sell?

Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake.

Why ed has no girlfriend?

Cz sheeran

What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?

He paws-ed it!

What happened to Ed's girlfriend?

Sheeran

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Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?

X-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.

Why did Ahmed take his clock to school?

He wanted to see time fly

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

Why do Electricians make terrible revolutionaries?

They know resistance is a waste of energy.

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?

The future

Ba Jokes More Ba Jokes

What is Ba + Na2?

Pupil: Banana.

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista

Silver Jokes More Silver Jokes

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?

I'm at your service ma'am.

What did Iron say to Silver after 30 years?

You haven't AG-ed a bit.

Id. Jokes More Id. Jokes

What is the difference between ID and ED?

One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.

Did you hear that David lost his ID in Prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a high school?

Names

What do you call a guy that never farts in public?

A privet tutor

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!