Id. Jokes

Why was Freud a bad poker player?

He would always go all Id.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Did you hear that David lost his ID in Prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

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Shirt Jokes More Shirt Jokes

What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store?

No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What does A&W stand for?

Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

What kind of jokes does a zombie make?

Dad jokes.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you call a dog that goes through your stuff?

Snoop dog.

What does a plankton name its dog?

Phyto.

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

Why Don't I Have Laugh Lines?

Because I never smile.

Who's there! Aardvark! Aardvark who?

Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles!

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments?

Because they were for test porpoise only

Why was the healthy potato not allowed on the plane?

He was on the "No Fry" list.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer?

Because they heard he's a web developer.

David Jokes More David Jokes

Did you hear that David lost his ID in Prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

Who's on first?

David." "Cool." -Abbott and Costello's first draft

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

What's the difference between a lima bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a lima bean on my chest