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Why doesn't God want to argue with Satan?

Because Satan has more politicians to help him.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How many psychologists does it take to change a tire?

Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.

Why didn't the mathematician want to go to the beach?

He didn't want people to see his tan lines.

God Jokes More God Jokes

How is God just like every other man?

If you're not on your knees, he's not interested.

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

How can I help you?

Me: "Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List!" Agent: "Umm..." Me: "DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"

When two ants want to run away and get married, who do they seek for help?

The Antelopes.

Argue Jokes More Argue Jokes

Who am I to argue?

So I thanked him and went back home.

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What's the difference between a robber and a politician?

Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.

How can you tell when a politician is lying?

When their lips move

Satan Jokes More Satan Jokes

What did Satan name his new bar?

The BeelzebPub

Whatcha makin'?

God: Trust. Man can use it to form lasting bonds and friendships. What you making Satan: A bong.