Argue Jokes

What's the difference between arguing with a girl and arguing with a knife?

The knife has a point

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Who is this "one"?

And why is he always arguing with people?

Why did the circle stop arguing with the two intersecting lines?

Because they had a point

Why doesn't God want to argue with Satan?

Because Satan has more politicians to help him.

What do you call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles?

Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads.

What do you call it when two designers argue about what file type to export a graphic to?

Getting into a bit of a.tiff!

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

Why shouldn't you argue with a 90 degree angle?

It's always right.

What is your sin, child?

My husband and I are arguing That's very common....about my boyfriend.

What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?

A bullfighter!

Why should you not argue with a decimal?

Because decimals always have a point.

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Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

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Why did the 2 contractors hire a pilot to help survey their land?

Because they really wanted a third's eye view!

What did the French fry say to the police officer?

Help me! I've been a-salted!

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What's the difference between a robber and a politician?

Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

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Why do traffic lights never go swimming?

Because they spend too much time changing.

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

Because they spend too much time with the x-position

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Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

What do you call a ghost on the Internet?

E-erie.

What do you call an alien surfing the Internet?

E-t.

Designer Jokes More Designer Jokes

What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?

Ex-spearmints

How many designers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Does it really have to be a lightbulb?

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Why should you not argue with a decimal?

Because decimals always have a point.

What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?

At some point they turned into Mummys

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

What's the last thing you want to hear when you're blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.