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What's the only thing politicians stand for?

Reelection.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson?

I ain't Willie Nelson.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How did the hipster die?

He drowned in the mainstream because he stood on it before it was cool.

What does Pontiac stand for?

Poor, Old, Niagga, Thinks, It's, A, Cadillac. Ba dum tssss

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

Why doesn't God want to argue with Satan?

Because Satan has more politicians to help him.

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money