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Why did the engineer buy a mattress?

To sleep under it

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

Why was my other pillow jealous?

Because I like to sleep around.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.

Where does Jane Fonda buy her groceries?

Traitor Joe's.

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

Why do engineers confuse Christmas and Halloween?

Because OCT 31= DEC 25

How do you know if someone's an engineer without asking them?

Don't worry they'll tell you

Mattress Jokes More Mattress Jokes

Why did Timmy fall off his bike?

Because Bill threw a mattress at him.

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.