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Why did the engineer buy a mattress?

To sleep under it

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How do these presidential candidates sleep at night?

With an electorate blanket.

Why does the nudist always go to bed early?

Because he never sleeps in much!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why do you own a hot dog stand when you draw and write?

Me: Wanna buy my book Them: No. Me: That's why I own a hot dog stand.

What is the driest soda you can buy?

Baking soda.

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

What, like structurally?

Should we call an engineer Evacuate Please advise.

How do you fix a deaf car?

With an engin*eer.*

Mattress Jokes More Mattress Jokes

Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road?

Do they really think someone will take it Do you think I should wash it first

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.