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How can you tell that a politician lies?

His lips are moving

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How do you know a presidential candidate is lying?

Their lips are moving.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do they tell people who flunk out of astronaut academy?

The sky's the limit for you".

What's the difference between Cheryl Crawford and dead embryos?

Dead embryos don't tell on their mothers...

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

How do skeletons kiss?

They don't. Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.

What do you call it when an Irish band is caught lip syncing?

Sham rock.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What's the only thing politicians stand for?

Reelection.

How cold is it outside?

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.