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How do you know you're golfing with a politician?

When they get a hole-in-one they write down *zero* on the scorecard.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

What the difference between a ISIS member and a child?

I don't know, I just fly the drones.

Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

What does the zero say to the eight?

I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

Why do some loudspeakers have holes?

For the pleasure of the audiophiles.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

Why shouldn't you write with a dull pencil?

It's pointless

What is the South American Music Scale?

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti No (This is a joke I wrote a loooonnngg time ago, tell me what you think.)

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What do politicians and sperm have in common?

About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.

Why is heaven a paradise for the common man?

Because all the politicians are in hell.

Golf Jokes More Golf Jokes

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.

Why is golf named "golf"?

Because all the other fore letter words were taken (Thanks to... this now makes sense...)