How do you know you're golfing with a politician?

When they get a hole-in-one they write down *zero* on the scorecard.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?

Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows Yeah, I know it's old....

How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one.

Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

What do you call a scale that always resets itself to zero?

Tareable

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

Art...floating in the sea Bob...laying on the floor Matt...down in a hole Phil...sitting in a pot Stu...

Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What do you call a teeth specialist who writes books?

An author-dontist Wahey!

How many times should you check whether a sentence is written in English or Spanish?

Once.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What did the cannibal make of the politician he just met?

Pork and bologne sammiches.

Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV?

Jar Jar Binks

Golf Jokes More Golf Jokes

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.

Why are Asians bad at golf?

They don't know how to drive.