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Zero Jokes

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

Love

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Love

What did a binary number say to another?

I'm the one, you zero!

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero.

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

When did 888 equal zero????

When Eight ate eight

What do Zero and Nil have in common?

Absolutely nothing

How much Squidwards does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Zero, because none of them knows how to

What is zero in Roman numerals?

Nothing

What do a zero-legged spider and a one-legged bear have in common?

They both have at least zero legs.

How many redditors does it take to screw in a new lightbulb?

Zero. Somebody already did it.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

How do you feel if subjected to temperatures of absolute zero?

0K

What does Mexican binary code consist of?

Zeros and Juans.

What's your favorite joke appropriate for a 6-8 year old?

I am a ski instructor and I've recently been teaching these two boys who are 6 and 8 year old brothers. I realized today that I know zero jokes appropriate enough or funny to this demographic. I feel like they think I am super boring. Give me some help to make the chairlift more exciting!!

What does the zero say to the eight?

I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it.

What was the score of the lobster soccer game?

Zero to zero. Lobsters can't kick soccer balls.

How do you know you're golfing with a politician?

When they get a hole-in-one they write down *zero* on the scorecard.

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

How many zeroes does your salary have?

He responds "One" "In which currency " "Any :("

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in zero lightbulbs?

Indeterminate

What did the number zero say to the number eight?

Nice belt.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other?

Binary stars.

How do I find answers using Google.com?

On Yahoo Answers. Stand by while the internet divides itself by zero.

How many zeros in one million?

Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0)

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

How are you doing in arithmetic?

I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

Why does everyone find the absolute value of zero so funny?

L0l

How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Significantly more than zero, *p* < .001.

How many people at a Music Festival does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Zero, its already lit

What's an acceptable absolute zero?

0K.

I Love Pizza & You

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I Love Pizza & You

Why can a number divided by zero never be found in the dictionary?

Because it's undefined.

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

What do you call a scale that always resets itself to zero?

Tareable

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Squidward Jokes More Squidward Jokes

What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living?

You call 'im Maury.

How much Squidwards does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Zero, because none of them knows how to

Exist Jokes More Exist Jokes

Why doesn't God like pizza?

Because he doesn't exist.

How many blonde jokes exist?

One. This one. The rest are all true.

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

Why was the Redditor mad at Reddit?

Because it made her wait seven minutes before posting something.

Why did the Redditor cross the road?

To bask in social approval.

Weirdo Jokes More Weirdo Jokes

What kind of money do monsters use?

Weirdo (weird dough).

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

Roman Jokes More Roman Jokes

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

What is a Roman wrestlers favorite meal?

JOHN CENA

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

How do you get a job with Apple?

Be born in China.

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

Why is an Oklahoma divorce like a Texas twister?

Somebody's 'bout to lose a trailer.

How do you know if somebody does crossfit?

They are probably in better shape than you.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

What did Cinderella say when she reached the ball?

Nothing, she just made gagging noises

What does a member of the British Royal Family say when they are reaching climax?

I"m arriving, I'm arriving."