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How much Squidwards does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Zero, because none of them knows how to

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to cook the macaroni necklace?

Sigh* Parenting is hard.

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Significantly more than zero, *p* < .001.

How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're on our sixth.

Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

Why did the welder put on a scuba tank?

Someone's got to fix this sub.

How did the pirate fix the hole in his pants?

He used an eyepatch

Squidward Jokes More Squidward Jokes

How much Squidwards does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Zero, because none of them knows how to

What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living?

You call 'im Maury.