How many mathematicians does it take to screw in zero lightbulbs?

Indeterminate

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.

How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.

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Why does everyone find the absolute value of zero so funny?

L0l

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in zero lightbulbs?

Indeterminate

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Why was the mathematician late for work?

He took the rhombus.

What did the mathematician say while golfing?

2 squared!