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Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?

In a cat-alogue!

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What did Hermoine say when she found out she's pregnant?

Fetus Abortus!

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

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What's the difference between a cat and a politician?

A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.

What does a cat in the desert and Christmas have in common?

They both have Sandy Claws.

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How old were you on your last birthday?

Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday Ten. Oh I don't think that's possible. Oh yes it is - I'm nine today.

What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

I appreciate the sediment.

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How do cats buy things?

From a cat-alogue!

Why don't cats like online shopping?

They prefer a cat-alogue.