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How cold is it outside?

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call a tree that you can fit in your hand?

A PALM TREE!!!

Where can a hand refuel its car?

At a fist pump.

Pocket Jokes More Pocket Jokes

What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket?

I can't believe someone would stoop so low.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What do diapers and politicians have in common?

They both need to be changed after a while for the same reason

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money