What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are these?

Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON.

What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof?

Tell him drinks are on the house.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the Russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!

Why are hands so important?

You always need them for thumb finger another.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

How do you turn a seal into a sea lion?

Remove an electron.

What did the Italian say when 6 curses were removed from him?

Hexagon.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What's Rick Ross's favorite nursery rhyme?

Ring Around the Rooooozaaay.

What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am?

It's your dad.

Hand Grenade Jokes More Hand Grenade Jokes

What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a bathroom in France?

Linoleum Blownapart

What do you get when toss a hand grenade into a French kitchen?

Linoleum blownapart.