Clothe Jokes

What did the man say when he ran out of clothes?

Oh dear, it seems I'm shirt on clothes.

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What do you call a bikini clad conspiracy theorist?

An illumi-hotty!

Where do Wildlings get their clothes?

North of the Wal-Mart

How many TSA agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. TSA agents only know how to remove clothes putting them on is different matter completely.

What clothes do Quakers wear?

Oat couture

Where do Year 1 Guardians buy their clothes?

Twilight Gap

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off

What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?

Aw shucks!

Where do hipsters buy their clothes?

Most likely a thrift store or Urban Outfitters, TBH.

What clothes do lawyers wear to work?

Lawsuits.

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What do you call a wheel with clothes?

Attire. My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle.

Why do monks wear the same clothes every day?

Because old habits die hard.

Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold outtide

What do you call clothes for a car?

A tire.

Why do American tourists talk so loudly?

So that they can hear each other over their clothes

What happens when Fonzie doesn't fold his clothes after doing laundry?

His shirts get all winkly.

How does Tony Stark keep his clothes wrinkle-free?

Iron, man.

What size clothes do fortune tellers wear?

Medium.

What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning?

She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

What do you call it when a statistician secretly gives out clothes?

Discreet uniform distribution

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Why do people wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold out tide.

Where do Muslim hipsters shop for clothes?

Turban Outfitters!

What do clouds wear under their clothes?

Thunderware.

Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide?

Because it was too cold out tide.

Why are clothes so expensive?

I shouldn't have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Where do the sith get their clothes?

Darth Mall

Why isn't there a Superpig?

It's too hard for a pig to change clothes in a telephone booth.

What's the difference between a fedora clad Brony and an egg?

The egg gets laid!

Where do Floridians wash their clothes?

In Fort Launderdale.

Why does it take so long for a nun to get her clothes?

It takes 21 days to make a habit.

What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he saw she had no clothes on?

It made him shy!

What does a sailor use to clean his clothes?

Tide

Why do I wash my clothes in TIDE?

Because it's too cold out-tide.

What are these clothes on the floor?

A dead Jedi" I replied

Why shouldn't you take your clothes off while riding the elevator?

It could get you an in descent exposure charge.

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

A petticoat!

What kinds of clothes do protons wear?

Plus sizes!

What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?

Lawsuits.

What happens when sharks take their clothes off?

They go sharkers!

What do you call a rabbit with no clothes on?

A bare hare.

What do you call a pig with no clothes on?

Streaky bacon!

Why is it a bad idea to change clothes at a Pokemon's house?

Because he might Pikachu!

How's my hair?

My clothes How do I look (knock, knock) He's here!!!! I'm so excited! *My pizza delivery guy.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Where do you buy clothes for baby owls?

The outlet

Where do you want me to put my clothes?

She says, "On top of mine."

Where do fortune tellers buy their clothes?

Sears.

What do pessimists use... Q: What do pessimists use to wash their clothes?

Deterrent.

What do rappers use to wash their clothes?

BLEEE-AAAACH!

What does Snoop Dogg use to wash his clothes?

Bleotch!!

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Why didn't the car have a tire?

Because cars don't wear clothes.

Where do Sikhs buy clothes?

Turban Outfitters

Why wait?

I'll take you clothes shopping right now".

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Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexidecimal?

Because 7 8 9 A

How do tennis players prefer their steak?

Wimbledon and nicely served.

Solve Jokes More Solve Jokes

Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle?

He was stumped.

How does a mathematician solve constipation?

Pro biotics and a healthy amount of fiber.

Tumblr Jokes More Tumblr Jokes

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag?

Take the 'F' out of safe and the 'F' out of way.

Bolt Jokes More Bolt Jokes

Why did the bolt in the ceiling have to go to therapy?

Because it was screwed up!

What did the bolt say to the nut?

Washer? I don't even know 'er!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

No one knows it's never happened.

What do you call a super kind man who spends too much time on the beach?

A tangent

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?

Juans upon a time.

Wife Clothe Jokes More Wife Clothe Jokes

When to leave your girlfriend?

When your wife's clothes start to fit her.