Clothe Jokes

What did the man say when he ran out of clothes?

Oh dear, it seems I'm shirt on clothes.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call a bikini clad conspiracy theorist?

An illumi-hotty!

Where do Wildlings get their clothes?

North of the Wal-Mart

How many TSA agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. TSA agents only know how to remove clothes putting them on is different matter completely.

What clothes do Quakers wear?

Oat couture

Where do Year 1 Guardians buy their clothes?

Twilight Gap

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off

What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?

Aw shucks!

Where do hipsters buy their clothes?

Most likely a thrift store or Urban Outfitters, TBH.

What clothes do lawyers wear to work?

Lawsuits.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?

M'genta

What's the definition of a mere myth?

A pirate ship thailing clothe to an itheberg

What do you call a wheel with clothes?

Attire. My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle.

Why do monks wear the same clothes every day?

Because old habits die hard.

Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold outtide

What do you call clothes for a car?

A tire.

Why do American tourists talk so loudly?

So that they can hear each other over their clothes

What did the Chinese man give his daughter?

A clothes hanger.

What happens when Fonzie doesn't fold his clothes after doing laundry?

His shirts get all winkly.

How does Tony Stark keep his clothes wrinkle-free?

Iron, man.

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What size clothes do fortune tellers wear?

Medium.

What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning?

She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

What do you call it when a statistician secretly gives out clothes?

Discreet uniform distribution

Why do people wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold out tide.

Where do Muslim hipsters shop for clothes?

Turban Outfitters!

What do clouds wear under their clothes?

Thunderware.

How can I help you sir?

One clothes please!

Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide?

Because it was too cold out tide.

Why are clothes so expensive?

I shouldn't have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Where do the sith get their clothes?

Darth Mall

Why isn't there a Superpig?

It's too hard for a pig to change clothes in a telephone booth.

What's the difference between a fedora clad Brony and an egg?

The egg gets laid!

Where do Floridians wash their clothes?

In Fort Launderdale.

Why does it take so long for a nun to get her clothes?

It takes 21 days to make a habit.

What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he saw she had no clothes on?

It made him shy!

What does a sailor use to clean his clothes?

Tide

Why did the chicken?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road naked A: Because chickens don't wear clothes.

Why do I wash my clothes in TIDE?

Because it's too cold out-tide.

What are these clothes on the floor?

A dead Jedi" I replied

Why shouldn't you take your clothes off while riding the elevator?

It could get you an in descent exposure charge.

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

A petticoat!

What kinds of clothes do protons wear?

Plus sizes!

What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?

Lawsuits.

What happens when sharks take their clothes off?

They go sharkers!

What do you call a rabbit with no clothes on?

A bare hare.

What do you call a pig with no clothes on?

Streaky bacon!

Why is it a bad idea to change clothes at a Pokemon's house?

Because he might Pikachu!

How's my hair?

My clothes How do I look (knock, knock) He's here!!!! I'm so excited! *My pizza delivery guy.

Where did he get his clothes?

That's right - a victim

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Where do you buy clothes for baby owls?

The outlet

Where do you want me to put my clothes?

She says, "On top of mine."

Where do fortune tellers buy their clothes?

Sears.

What do pessimists use... Q: What do pessimists use to wash their clothes?

Deterrent.

What do rappers use to wash their clothes?

BLEEE-AAAACH!

What does Snoop Dogg use to wash his clothes?

Bleotch!!

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Why didn't the car have a tire?

Because cars don't wear clothes.

What do you call it when someone forces you to watch them take their clothes off?

A power strip.

Where do Sikhs buy clothes?

Turban Outfitters

Why wait?

I'll take you clothes shopping right now".

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Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use Lubricant.

What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend?

On the front page of reddit.

Square Jokes More Square Jokes

What did the square say to the root?

Radical

What is the difference between a parrot saying "E equals M C squared" and most people saying it?

Nothing.

Maid Jokes More Maid Jokes

What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe?

Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood.

What do maids in Manhattan use to clean their kitchens?

J-lo Cloths

Wal Jokes More Wal Jokes

Why was the wall in a store?

Because it's wal-mart.

Where do Wildlings get their clothes?

North of the Wal-Mart

Solve Jokes More Solve Jokes

What do scientists solve?

Che-mysteries!

How do you solve world hunger and poverty simultaneously?

By feeding the poor to the hungry.

Nap Kin Jokes More Nap Kin Jokes

What do you call a tired tumblrina?

A nap-kin.

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

Mart Jokes More Mart Jokes

Why was Homer Simpson in such a rush to get to the Kwik-E-Mart?

He desperately needed Apu.

Why was the wall in a store?

Because it's wal-mart.

Identify Jokes More Identify Jokes

How do you identify a vegan?

Listen closely.

What do you call a white woman that identifies as black?

TransRachel - credit Jennie