Nice Jokes

What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

Karma chameleon

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What's the difference between a lorry with good brakes, and a lorry with nice brakes?

A Lorry with Nice breaks doesn't stop until after a mile.

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

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Afford Jokes More Afford Jokes

Why do birds live in nests?

Because they can't afford houses in this economy.

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

It was repossessed!

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

Why did Joey fall of the swing?

Because he doesn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Joey.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs?

Matt. No arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why did the girl bring 2 basketballs to the basketball game?

Because there was 2 basketball courts. DUH!

Who did the baker bring to work?

His doughter.

Gnome Jokes More Gnome Jokes

What do you call a gnome who dresses nice?

A metronome!

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has two legs but can't walk?

A dead duck.

What do you call a cow with only legs on one side?

Lean Beef.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between r/showerthoughts and Jaden Smith's twitter?

Capitalization.

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

Upvote Jokes More Upvote Jokes

Whose mother likes rap music?

Yo Momma! My eight-year-old daughter wants to see how many upvotes she can get. Ten-year old brother is interested in downvotes.

What did the redditor say to the repost?

Upvote!

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

Why did the hippie drowned in the ocean?

Because he was too far out. Ba dum bum tissss

Where are you most likely to drown?

Deepends*