Nice Jokes

What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

Karma chameleon

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What's the difference between a lorry with good brakes, and a lorry with nice brakes?

A Lorry with Nice breaks doesn't stop until after a mile.

Why are terrorists so mean?

Because they don't like Nice people.

Why are socially-aware western tourists avoiding Nice, France for their late-summer getaways?

All that Muslim hatred can really run you down.

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

What is OHM's Law?

Ans. It is very good law, It is very useful law, Nice law, Its a Scientific Law, I have studied this law.

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Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire

What's the difference between a hobo on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

A tyre (attire)

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why is the story of the Mayan Sacrifice girl so sad?

Because she died a virgin!

What do you call a jelly bear that died and came back?

A mummy bear

1st Jokes More 1st Jokes

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?

1st floor: Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building?

20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

Where did Nicholas II of Russia get his coffee?

Tsarbucks.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

When Shall We Meet Again?

By Miles Apart

What do you get when The Dark Knight meets Edgar Allan Poe?

X-post from r/funny) Poetic Justice(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblrme6ovqdnAp1rzkyaxo1500.png)

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

How many people from Cornwall does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't care, as long as they do it better than people from Devon.

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

What concert costs 45 cents?

A concert that costs 45 cents.

What did Obi-wan say to Skywalker the first time he saw him as Darth Vader?

Snickering) Nice suit, must have cost you an...

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why are Black people so tall?

Cause they're knee grows!!

Why do hippies like to swim way offshore?

Cause it's far out, man