Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly?

They want to finish before it's cool.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why bother drinking water?

You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.

Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion?

Because he was a slave to the cistern!

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

How does Moses makes his coffee?

Hebrews it.

Why shouldn't you have coffee while on the clock?

Because that would be "grounds" for termination!

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you call a 16th-century seer who drinks straight out of the can?

No-straw-damus! (please be gentle on me as you berate me.)

What beer do elderly rednecks drink?

Silver Mullet

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months?

The box said 2-4 years!

What did the Australian chess player say to the waiter when he finished his meal?

Check, mate.

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

What did the hipster say when a Starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.