What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

This joke may have profanity.

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What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What is a double amputee's favorite video game?

League of Leg ends.

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What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

Why don't blind people go sky diving?

It freaks out the dogs!

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What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!

What did the baby computer call his dad?

Data!

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What do you do when a Chemist dies?

You Barium.

What happens when a pope dies?

Another pops up.

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What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at college?

Bi-son

Why did you name your son Tinnitus?

I don't know, me and my wife just thought it had a nice ring to it.

Chair Jokes More Chair Jokes

What does E.T stand for?

Because he hasn't got a chair!..... sorry.

How many blondes does it take to... How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

5... 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the chair

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