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What happens to Captain America when he dies?

He goes to the Evans

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What happens when the Batman sees Catwoman?

The Dark Knight Rises.

What happens when a lamppost breaks?

Sorry, repost

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Why does Jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

Why did so many black people die in Vietnam?

Because when they shouted "GET DOWN!" they all started dancing.

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Why does Black Widow love sitting on Captain America's shield?

Because it's made out of vibranium.

What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.