What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died?

Barium

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What do monks, rabbis, and Mormon priests have in common with brains?

The all tend to be found enclosed within temples.

How did Jennifer Aniston find her fiancee?

She looked very Theroux-ly.

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What will i do when i die?

Idk!

Why are most cemeteries fenced in?

Because everyone is dying to get in

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What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid?

Drop the base.

How do you tell a chemist no?

Nitrogen Monoxide

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What do you do to a chemist after they're dead?

You barium

What do you do to a scientist after he dies?

You Barium.

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What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died?

Barium

What is the same with you, a pet cat, and a pet dog?

All of them are adopted