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Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

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Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?

Because he was on a higher plane.

Why did the dyslexic engineer fail college?

Because he didn't understand psychics.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!

Metaphor Jokes More Metaphor Jokes

What is a simile?

It's like a metaphor.

When is a 2 literally a 6?

When it has metaphor.