Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

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Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

Why did the dad make the joke?

For the pun of it.

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

A segreGATOR

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

What happens if you're late to extremophile school?

You get a tardy grade. (that explains the joke if you don't get it.)