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Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

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Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?

They always take things literally.

Why did the liontamer stop using WinZip?

Because lions only understand.rars

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

Metaphor Jokes More Metaphor Jokes

What's a metaphor?

Winning the game tournament!

What is a simile?

It's like a metaphor.