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Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

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Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk???

Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door

Why couldn't the scientist understand what the photon was saying?

Because the photon was incoherent.

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What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

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Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally