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Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

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Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue?

Mandel broth Ha ha ha The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier..

What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself?

One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why do mermaids put their things on top of clams?

Because clams are shelf-ish.

Why did the arborist plant new pine trees on their front lawn?

To spruce things up a bit.

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world.