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Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

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Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What do you call a herpes pun?

A play on warts

Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call a policeman with a thing for MLP?

A clop cop.

What is the one thing you can't say even on the internet?

Removed

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!