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Military Jokes

What branch of the military are horses in?

The NaaaaayyyVY

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military?

A Sweeping Generalization.

What do you call a Bronie in the military?

A GIbronie!

Why are there so many more men in the military?

Because ladies go in first.

What branch of the military did the hipster join?

The Salvation Army.

Why did the military name it's new drone system "Caitlyn Jenner"?

Because it's unmanned

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

Why Did The Military Take Over Turkey?

To Prove They Were Not Chicken

What do you call a sapling in the military?

An Infantry! (Infant tree, a sapling is a baby/young tree Ah forget it!)

What does the scientist say when asked if Invisibility Cloak will be applicated by the military?

Yes, but you won't see it any time soon.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

Whose the most vague person in the Military?

General Direction.

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What did the brown dwarf say to the bartender?

I'd like a Corona, please.

Why are Paris's streets lined with trees?

German soldiers like to march in the shade.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

Why does the Pope kiss the ground when he gets off his plane?

You would too if you had to fly Alitalia.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers so upset about their pizza order?

They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.

Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

What's better than four roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Why can't you talk to spiders who get shut in pianos?

They'll B flat

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?

A horse!

What do you call the horse than lives next door?

A neighbour!

Britney Spears Jokes More Britney Spears Jokes

What do you call a British guy who throws a spear through the knee?

Britney Spears

Who did Chris Brown mistook Rihanna for?

Britney Spears

Singer Jokes More Singer Jokes

Whats the difference between a North Korean missile and a K-Pop singer?

The singer can have a hit

Which singer would be best suited for the roman military?

Britney Spears

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

What do you call a creamsicle in Russia?

A hammer and cream-sickle

Year Ago Jokes More Year Ago Jokes

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.