Military Jokes

What branch of the military are horses in?

The NaaaaayyyVY

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What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military?

A Sweeping Generalization.

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What do you call a Bronie in the military?

A GIbronie!

Why are there so many more men in the military?

Because ladies go in first.

What branch of the military did the hipster join?

The Salvation Army.

What do you call black people in the military?

Geurrilla warfare

Why did the military name it's new drone system "Caitlyn Jenner"?

Because it's unmanned

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

Why Did The Military Take Over Turkey?

To Prove They Were Not Chicken

Why don't american have a bullet train?

They use the bullets to train the military.

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What do you call a sapling in the military?

An Infantry! (Infant tree, a sapling is a baby/young tree Ah forget it!)

What does the scientist say when asked if Invisibility Cloak will be applicated by the military?

Yes, but you won't see it any time soon.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

Whose the most vague person in the Military?

General Direction.

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

Why Aren't SJW's Allowed In The Military?

They are too trigger-happy.

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Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What do you get when you push a piano out of the second floor window of an elementary school?

A flat minor.

What do you call someone who pushes people down stairs?

A stairorist.

Receive Jokes More Receive Jokes

What do poor countries already have but also receive?

AID...S

What do all 'Tickle Me Elmo' toys receive before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What did the horse say when it walked into the bar?

Ouch...

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

Promote Jokes More Promote Jokes

Why is it good to post jokes about feminists?

It promotes equality.

What do you call a Mexican on a riding lawnmower?

Promoted.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do you say when it's snowing?

Winter is coming.

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

Singer Jokes More Singer Jokes

Which singer would be best suited for the roman military?

Britney Spears

What do you call a singer gently swaying from one side to another?

A rocking Cher.

Coup Jokes More Coup Jokes

Where does a Turkey live?

A coup.

What sound does a turkey now make?

Coup.

English Jokes More English Jokes

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What do you call a pastry with an English degree?

A synonym roll