Suit Jokes

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

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What do you say to a black man in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise.

What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

Which singer would be best suited for the roman military?

Britney Spears

What do you call a scouser in a suit?

The defendant.

Which actor is best suited for a programmer role?

Dev Patel.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What is Superman when he removes his suit?

Man.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

What is the difference between a man and a dog?

A man wears a suit and the dog, pants.

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What do you call a monkey in a suit?

Over-dressed!

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?

He had a bee in his suit of armour!

What is Iron Man without his suit?

Stark naked.

What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark naked.

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?

A buzzness suit!

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Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?

She didn't suit his taste!

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

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What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

What is Stephen Hawking's favourite song?

Satisfaction

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Why did the Russian man keep making excuses?

He was just stalin for time

Why Russians never drive stick shift?

They really hate Stalin

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What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night?

Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.

Why was the blond late on her first day of work?

Because she stopped taking the pill about a month earlier.

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What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

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What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried?

Fruit of the tomb

What kind of degrees do slaves get in college?

Their Master's.

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

Why is Jesus' body bread?

Because given enough time it rises

Armor Jokes More Armor Jokes

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

Where does a knight go to get his armor?

The hard-wear store

Knight Jokes More Knight Jokes

What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?

A Sir conference.

What does a Knight do at night?

Nighty Night