Suit Jokes

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

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Which singer would be best suited for the roman military?

Britney Spears

Which actor is best suited for a programmer role?

Dev Patel.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What is Superman when he removes his suit?

Man.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

What is the difference between a man and a dog?

A man wears a suit and the dog, pants.

What do you call a monkey in a suit?

Over-dressed!

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

Whats The Difference Between a Hobo On a Unicycle And a Man In a Suit On a Bike?

Attire.

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Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?

He had a bee in his suit of armour!

What is Iron Man without his suit?

Stark naked.

What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark naked.

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?

A buzzness suit!

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?

She didn't suit his taste!

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

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What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?

You make my temperature rise.

What's the similarity of a dough and a human?

If they are thick, they have a hard time to rise

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How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

Why did the robber take a bath?

So he could make a clean getaway.

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What kind of pants does agent Mulder wear?

Just a pair 'a normal pants.

What kind of tableware do gym trainers use?

Pilates

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What does a lawyer wear to work?

A law-suit

Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2?

Because he said he was pro Bono.

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How do you know if someone truly loves fast food?

It has a special place in their hearts

Why do some people love their VW diesel cars?

Well, it's the official car of the New England Patriots after all.

Coup Jokes More Coup Jokes

How did colonel Sanders take over the chicken market?

A coup.

What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution?

A pigeon... "Coup, coup"

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What do Russians call their barbers?

Combrade

How do Russian sprinters train?

They put a bottle of vodka 100 meters away from them.