Suit Jokes

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

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What do you say to a black man in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise.

What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

Which singer would be best suited for the roman military?

Britney Spears

What do you call a scouser in a suit?

The defendant.

Which actor is best suited for a programmer role?

Dev Patel.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What is Superman when he removes his suit?

Man.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

What is the difference between a man and a dog?

A man wears a suit and the dog, pants.

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What do you call a monkey in a suit?

Over-dressed!

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

Whats The Difference Between a Hobo On a Unicycle And a Man In a Suit On a Bike?

Attire.

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?

He had a bee in his suit of armour!

What is Iron Man without his suit?

Stark naked.

What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark naked.

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

What do you call a gypsy in a suit?

The defendant

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

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What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?

A buzzness suit!

Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?

She didn't suit his taste!

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

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Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps?

New Jersey got to choose first

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why is it so hard to order pizza from me?

I'll update with the hilarious punchline later...

What's the definition of a cannibal?

Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!

Court Jokes More Court Jokes

What do lawyers wear to court?

Law suits!

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!

Track Suit Jokes More Track Suit Jokes

What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why does duck taste better than turkey?

Because turkey is just poultry in comparison.

What did Mustafa's dad say after he founded Turkey?

Attaturk.

Erdogan Jokes More Erdogan Jokes

Why wasn't the coup in Turkey on Wednesday?

Erdogan's suit wasn't back from the cleaners.

Why did Erdogan stop a man from jumping off a bridge?

One does not simply fly in Turkish airspace without Erdogan's permission.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?

Her crayons are still sticky.

Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)