Suit Jokes

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

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What do you say to a black man in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise.

What do you call a chav in a suit?

The defendant.

What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

Why did the black man wear a suit to his vasectomy?

If he was going to be Impotent he wanted to look impotent. (important)

Which singer would be best suited for the roman military?

Britney Spears

What do you call a scouser in a suit?

The defendant.

Which actor is best suited for a programmer role?

Dev Patel.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What is Superman when he removes his suit?

Man.

What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog?

The man wears a full suit, the dog just pants

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What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

What is the difference between a man and a dog?

A man wears a suit and the dog, pants.

What do you call a monkey in a suit?

Over-dressed!

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

Whats The Difference Between a Hobo On a Unicycle And a Man In a Suit On a Bike?

Attire.

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?

He had a bee in his suit of armour!

What is Iron Man without his suit?

Stark naked.

What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark naked.

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

What do you call a gypsy in a suit?

The defendant

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?

A buzzness suit!

Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?

She didn't suit his taste!

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

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Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of hotdog did the Buddha order from the street vendor?

One with everything

What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock?

A Nokia

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying:'(

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman naked?

The Dark Knight Rises.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Where do tech guys with diarrhea go to work?

IBM

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Shows you it works then. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys picking cherries.

Defendant Jokes More Defendant Jokes

What do you call a chav in a suit?

The defendant.

What do you call a gypsy in a suit?

The defendant

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

What do you call a (insert racist minority slur here) on a brand new bicycle?

Thief. What do you call TWO (insert racist minority slur here) on a brand new bicycle? Organized crime.

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money

Wednesday Jokes More Wednesday Jokes

What is Mr. T's nickname for Wednesday?

Chump day.

Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week?

Because Wednesday is hump day.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What did one ape say to the the other ape?

What did one ape say to the other ape.

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

Satisfaction Jokes More Satisfaction Jokes

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

What is Stephen Hawking's favourite song?

Satisfaction