Defendant Jokes

How do you plead?

Defendant: Not quilty.

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What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

What do you call a drummer in a three piece suit?

The defendant.

What did the judge say when the defendant cause a ruckus in vegetable court?

Bay leaf get him out if here!

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Goalkeeper Jokes More Goalkeeper Jokes

What Does Potato Do?

Potato dribbles one defender. Potato dribbles another defender. Potato is one on one with the goalkeeper. What does Potato do? Potato Chips

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

Lead Singer Jokes More Lead Singer Jokes

Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2?

Because he said he was pro Bono.

What do you call it when the lead singer of U2 fights with himself?

Bono-y-Bono

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's the most casual crime you can commit?

Shooting the breeze.

What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?

He got fired.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A)..... The rooster clucks defiance.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

How does a ghost start a letter?

Tomb it may concern.

What do you call a ghost without any feet?

A lost sole

American Jokes More American Jokes

What did King George think of the American colonists?

He thought they were revolting!

What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?

A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)

Plead Jokes More Plead Jokes

What did the hamburger say when it pleaded 'not guilty'?

I've been flamed!

Why did the picture plead innocent at the trial?

It was framed.

U2 Jokes More U2 Jokes

Which lawyers are U2 fans?

The pro bono ones