Defendant Jokes

What do you say to a black man in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise.

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What do you call a chav in a suit?

The defendant.

How do you plead?

Defendant: Not quilty.

What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

What do you call a scouser in a suit?

The defendant.

What do you call a drummer in a three piece suit?

The defendant.

How do you find the defendant?

Jury Foreman: Well...I guess I just look right at him. Why -- isn't that how you do it

What did the judge say when the defendant cause a ruckus in vegetable court?

Bay leaf get him out if here!

What can you say in your defense?

Ampndash Defendant! Stop clowning and sit down!

What do you call a gypsy in a suit?

The defendant

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Drummer Jokes More Drummer Jokes

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They have a machine that does that now.

Why was the drummer sad about his boring instruments?

Because he had the doldrums.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

Why do ghosts say booOoOoo?

Because they are disappointed in you...

When do ghosts usually appear?

Just before someone screams.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills?

Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many programmers do you need to fix a light bulb?

None, it is a hardware issue!

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

Courtroom Jokes More Courtroom Jokes

What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?

Odor Odor in the court!!!

What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of aids he got?

Financial aids!!

What kind of back problem did the terrorist have?

Scoli-isis

Marine Jokes More Marine Jokes

What happened to the Marine that took a laxative?

He was relieved of doodie.

What do you call a retired Marine in a Chevy sports car?

A Corps vet in a Corvette.

Ship Jokes More Ship Jokes

What did the programmer call his ship?

Sea++

What does a ship say when it is cold?

Shiver me timbers!