Defendant Jokes

What do you say to a black man in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise.

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How do you plead?

Defendant: Not quilty.

What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

What do you call a scouser in a suit?

The defendant.

What do you call a drummer in a three piece suit?

The defendant.

How do you find the defendant?

Jury Foreman: Well...I guess I just look right at him. Why -- isn't that how you do it

What did the judge say when the defendant cause a ruckus in vegetable court?

Bay leaf get him out if here!

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Dribble Jokes More Dribble Jokes

Why are football players never asked for dinner?

Because they're always dribbling!

How did the basketball court get wet?

The players dribbled all over it!

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bee can never be understood?

A mumble-bee.

What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear?

T-shoes!

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower!

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why can't Z generationers swim?

Their phones would get wet.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas?

Swimming goggles

Stationary Jokes More Stationary Jokes

What kind of stationary can't you defend yourself with?

A TACK

Who is the king of stationery?

The ruler.

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why do Vampires make poor project managers?

Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders. (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask)

Defend Jokes More Defend Jokes

What kind of stationary can't you defend yourself with?

A TACK

Why do the Republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.