Potato Jokes

What kind of TB do potatoes get?

Culosis.

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What do you call a potato in space?

Spudnik

What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!

What do you call a potato that's also a sports fan?

A spec-tator!

What Does Potato Do?

Potato dribbles one defender. Potato dribbles another defender. Potato is one on one with the goalkeeper. What does Potato do? Potato Chips

What do you call a potato with no limbs?

An amputater

What do you call a potato that thinks he is in charge?

A Dictator

What do you get when you cross a foot with cookware?

Potato!

What do a totalitarian mallard and a potato in an air vent have in common?

They're both duct-taters (sorry)

What do you call a monk that cooks potatoes?

A friar? A chip monk?

What does a tire made of potatoes have?

An inner tuber.

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What's an Irish seven course meal?

A six pack and a potato

What do you call a dad without jeans?

A potato.

How did you find your steak sir?

Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!

What do call a potato that knows martial arts?

Jacket Chan

What's an Irish seven-course meal?

A six-pack and a potato

What's in an Irish 7 course meal?

A 6 pack and a potato.

What do you call a potato with one oar?

A row-tater.

What do you call a seven course Irish meal?

A 6-pack and a potato.

What did the potato name his son?

Chip. Sorry.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

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What is an Irish 7 course meal?

A six pack and a potato

What do you call a man with potatoes in their ears?

Anything you want, He can't hear you!

How did you find the steak, sir?

The man looks at her and says "I just moved the potatoes."

What do you call a potato that's high?

A baked potato.(http://www.spudstravels.com/Travel%20Archive/Caribbean/Jamaicaimages/Cannabis%20-%20close.jpg)

What's the only disease a potato can get?

Tuber-culosis

What did the potato say to his lover?

You have amazing eyes.

What did the barber say to the Potato?

You've got eyes on the back of your head!

Why is it hard to buy potatoes on the black market?

Because there are eyes everywhere!

What do you call a potato that's reluctant to try new things?

A Hesi-tater

What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?

HULK'S MASH! no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle

What is the difference between a human and a potato?

Time

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes?

Because they find me more appealing.

Why shouldn't you tell secrets on the farm?

The corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beanstalk.

How did the potato get back from the party?

It booked a Tuber.

Why did Steve fall off the swing?

Because he was a potato!

What do you get when you sit on a potato?

A potato wedge! (I made this up when I was 9)

How does a potato keep up with it's friends?

With Google chromosome+

What do you call a potato who puts videos online?

A Youtuber

What do you call a mean Potato?

A Dictator.

What does a tomato and a potato have in common?

Both are red,except from the potato.

Why do dentists like potatoes?

Because they are so filling.

How does Al Gore spell potato?

T-A-T-E-R.

Whats the hardest part of cooking a potato?

Signing the legal guardian paperwork

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Because the pee is silent.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

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What type of trees do chickens grow on?

Poul-trees

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You pullet.

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Claude

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Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

What does Arizona name Colorado?

Border Collie