Pea Soup Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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Whats the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup?

Anyone can mash potatoes!

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.

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Pork Jokes More Pork Jokes

What's small and green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Finger.

What's slimy, long and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What does Justin Timberlake say when he's going to the bathroom?

It's Gonna Be Pee

What does a scientist who has an epiphany while peeing say?

Urea!

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

For disturbing the peas!

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you get when a Mexican and Muslim have a child?

A kid who loves halalpenos

What do I love about living in Switzerland?

The flag is a big plus.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

Why does everybody like the mushroom?

Because he's a fun guy.

Why does Mexico do so poorly in the Olympics?

Because everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

Beef Jokes More Beef Jokes

What did the cow say to the slaughterhouse worker?

You want some beef

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What does a blonde make best for dinner?

Reservations.

Why didn't the Native Americans go out to dinner?

They lost their reservations.