Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.
Anyone can mash potatoes!
You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)
I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup
Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)
Anyone can mash potatoes
Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.
Chickpeas
Peas and franks.
Spit, sallow, and gargle.
Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
One less drunk.
Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window
The kernel was looking for him.
They are all in the Coop Clucks Clan
Bones upon a time...!
At the Schopenhauer.
ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.
Santa stops at three Ho's
The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.
