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What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist?

A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store

What's the difference between "like", "love" and "showing off"?

Spit, Swallow and Gargle.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why are Twitter jokes not as funny when you read them aloud to a friend?

It's not like they had to be there...

What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?

You-Rang-a-Tang

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's annoying about going 90 in a school zone?

The screaming speed bumps

What's red and black and screaming all over?

Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron.

Potato Jokes More Potato Jokes

What do you call a potato who puts videos online?

A Youtuber

How much do the potatoes cost?

How much do the potatoes cost " - "2.50" - "And the bag" - "The bag is free" - "Ok, give me the bag"

Skin Jokes More Skin Jokes

What should you call someone with a different color of skin than your own?

A hue man.

Why are skeletons so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin.

Boiling Water Jokes More Boiling Water Jokes

Why did the blonde freeze a pot of boiling water?

Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.

What's the difference between a gamer and a pot of boiling water?

A pot of boiling water doesn't get salty when you put a tea-bag in it.

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling very well. Credit to my four year old niece.

Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel!